


Is It Really Worth The Pain?

by SecretCrispyCollection



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Mother, Astronomy, Betrayal, Bullying, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Child Abuse, Crushes, Curses, Dead Father - Freeform, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Flying, Friendship, Gay Love, Gay Male Character, Ghoul Studies, Gryffindor, Herbology, History of Magic, Hogwarts, Hufflepuff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magical Creatures, Math, Music, Own Characters - Freeform, Potions, Ravenclaw, Secret Relationship, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slytherin, Transfiguration, Veela, Werewolves, Wizards and Witches, own story, schemes, singer - Freeform, spells, wizardry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 09:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretCrispyCollection/pseuds/SecretCrispyCollection
Summary: Betrayal was the one thing he didn’t want.





	1. Prologue

“I don’t think you understand these circumstances Ma’am.” He held the clipboard up in defense, waiting for her to hit him.

“Oh bloody hell,” She rolled her eyes. “I think I understand clearly, I think it’s you who doesn’t understand.” She leaned forward, her finger pointing rudely in the man’s face. “My son can not be one of those damn creatures!” She threw her arms in the air, continuing her rant. 

Before she could continue, she was interrupted by the man who feared the woman’s rath. “I’m sorry Ma’am but it is true,” He shyly gained confidence. “Even though you are not one of those creatures,” He choose his words carefully, since the woman could not stand the creature’s name spoken out loud. “Your husband is, as well as one of your parents, along with both of your husband’s,” He paused to catch his breath. “So to conclude your son is full on Veela, I’m sorry if this upsets you.” When he turned to leave he heard a soft, small voice.

“Mother,” The child spoke up warily. “Do you hate me because I’m. . .I’m?” He looked up to his mother.

“Honey, you know I will never lie to you,” She kneeled down to her son’s height. She looked into his Icy blue eyes. “So, Yes I do, and that will never change.”

The boy’s heart stopped, he stood with blank look. He glanced at who he thought he could trust, who he thought was his mother that would love him no matter what. Tears swept his face, falling down with no control. He couldn’t think, move or hear, it was like he died. He robotically turned around and began walking away towards his room. 

“That's okay mother,” He drawled, keeping his voice low. “It’s not like I liked myself anyways.” He deadpanned.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betrayal was the one thing he didn’t want.

He walked into the olden house he called home. “Mother!” He called out, looking over the papers he got. “I’ve gotten the mail for you.” He informed the darkened figure sitting in the living room chair.

“Thank you dear, now bring it over to me.” she ushered, excited to see the mail for an unknown reason. The boy obliged, walking over to her and giving the woman the mail.

He continued to stand there as he was not released to go. The black haired woman, after an extended look at the papers, remembered his presence. “You are to cook breakfast for your sister and I.” She told him, waving him towards the kitchen. 

He stalked towards the kitchen, grabbing the ingredients to make pancakes. He laid the materials out on the counter. Once he did that he got the bacon from the fridge also grabbing a small pan, putting the bacon as close as he could, then putting it in the oven, which had already been set. He went for another pan, taking out the eggs, to make scrambled eggs that his sister loved. He put a small piece of butter, spreading into around so the eggs don't stick. He took the spatula in hand and skillfully made the eggs, adding a smidge of pepper to th mix. The eggs were finished so he put them on two plates, his mother’s and his sister’s. His pancake batter had finished, so he took the bowl and poured a bit into the pan, making a medium sized cake. He flipped it a few times before using the spatula putting it on a plate. He did that three more times before the batter was gone. Each plate got two pancakes. After this he waited a few minutes for the bacon to be done. He heard a small ding, opening the oven, oven mitts in hand. He pulled out the six pieces of greasy bacon, placing three on each plate. The one last thing he did was put two pieces of bread in the toaster and putting butter on one side, giving both plates one. He got two glasses filling one with orange juice and one with wine.

“Draco, hurry will you!” His mother demanded, slamming a fist onto the coffee table.

He flinched, grabbing the plates like he was a server at a bar. Lily had finally got from bed, looking prime a usual. He put both plates on each side of the coffee table and put the drinks down with them as well, being sure to use a coaster to not make any rings on his mother’s precious table. He stood there, watching hungrily as the two ate.

“You can go clean the dishes and make yourself a sandwich.” She told him, eating the pancakes first. “Oh and after you do that I would like to talk to you.” She looked straight into the male’s eyes with a dangerous look in her eye that only he could presume would be him ended up in punishment. 

He went back to the kitchen slowly, he was tiredly washing the dishes and cleaning up since he was up at 5:30 doing the early chores he’s always done since he was 5. He finally finished and made a small sandwich that he knew his mother would accept. She only let him eat a sandwich with cheese and lettuce smashed between two pieces of wheat bread. He ate it fast and walked back to the living room. His sister looked exactly like his mom except her eyes were dad’s. She had pitch black hair that reached to her waist, a slightly crooked nose, with defined cheekbones and a sharp chin. She also had tanned skin unlike mother, who has very very pale skin, almost transparent. Her eyes were a deep purple that shone with her black hair. While Draco was like his father but with his mother’s eyes. Draco has snowy like hair that is somewhat messy but really neat in a way. He has a small cutish nose with skinny, plump lips. He got a sharp chin with slight defined cheeks. He was as pale as you can get, he could blend in with the snow and his hair didn’t help. He wasn’t buff but he wasn’t on the chubby side either. He is a bit shorter than his mother but won’t stay like that for long. His eyes used to be an sharp Icy blue but has become a gray-silver almost like mercury in a way.

When he entered the room he was met by a puking sister and an furious mother. He blinked a few times before processing what happened. Lily’s plate was empty except for a bit of the eggs left, the orange juice was untouched. Why did she start puking? He thought, Was it because of the eggs? He looked at his mother who stomped up to him. She brought up a hand and smacked it across his face. “You poisoned your sister!” She accused wrongly. He had done nothing of the sort. “And to think I was going to let you go to school.” She went up to comfort Lily, who had stopped contaminating the floor. He looked shocked and utterly disappointed. “Clean this mess up and come to me in my office.” She commanded, handing Draco a mop and bucket.

Draco started to wash the dark oak floor boards, making sure he didn’t miss any spot. He also picked what was left of the food and cleaned them magically since he didn’t want to keep his mother waiting. He ran up the stairs, though making sure he didn’t make noise. He passed his sister who glared at him, then wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Take a bath will you, you smell like trash,” She snickered, crossing her arms. “Oh wait, I forgot that's your natural scent, Homo.” She added, slamming her door shut. 

Draco looked down, sighing as he slowly made his way to the double doors at the end of the hallway. He knocked once, standing patiently, hoping she hadn’t heard it but nonetheless she did. “Come in,” He creaked open the door to find his mother, a knife in her hand as well as a sturdy rope. “Now let’s get to your punishment.” She grinned, walking closer.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betrayal was the one thing he didn’t want.

His eyes widened, he started to back away fast. Not again he thought, It can’t happen again. He looked back to see the doors still wide open. He made a run for safety, though did not reach it as his mother shot a blue laser, towards the door, closing it with a lock. He stopped just in time to not collide with the door. He looked back at the physcotic woman before him.

“You can’t escape, Draco~” She sang his name, when she charged grabbing the boy’s wrist which had went up in defense. It swift movement and before he could realize what happened he was tied up. They were binding his wrists, which were behind him, and his legs. His shirt had been taken off in the process as well. His mother traced him from his shoulders down his arms, along the way she felt cuts on his skin. “I never made those.” She muttered to herself standing up, taking out her wand. Dammit she found them, he thought. Usually he was able to hide them for a reason he couldn’t understand. “Crucio!” Her curse hit the unearthly pale boy. It sent him writhing on the floor, crying out for somebody to save him. “Tell me, how did you get those cuts on your arm?” Walking around him, grinning widely, her wand still pointed at him.

“I-I don’t know.” He didn’t want her to know. After he lied she shot the same curse at him.

“Don’t lie to me!” She yelled, grabbing Draco’s hair, lifting him up by it. “Tell me how you got those cuts!” She demanded, shaking him a bit.

“I said I don’t know!” He retaliated, keeping his lie from before.

“TELL ME!!” She snarled, throwing him to the ground.

“F-fine,” He muttered, a tear smearing down his face. “I-I cut myself.” He breathed out, catching his breathes. 

She stared at him happily, she strutted over to his shaking body. “Well this gets a new word.” She smirked, her eyes gleaming in hunger. “Hmm we have ‘Nightmare’, ‘Pathetic’, ‘Pitiful’, ‘Stupid’. . .” She muttered, tracing over each word she saw on his back. “Ooo I got one, ‘Filth’, that's a good one for you~” She sang, dragging the blade of th knife on the floorboards. She stuck it deep into his skin, starting to write the letter ‘F’ into her son’s flesh. She took it out, examining her letter before licking the blood off and then moved onto the next. She took her time writing the word because hearing her sons screams was the most beautiful thing she could ever hear in her lifetime. Once she was done she cleaned the knife like cats do with spilled milk, then licked the blood on her sons back, before giving it a clean with a black towel. “Now get out.” Pointing to the now unlocked doors. He struggled to get up, once he did he hurried away, grabbing his shirt in the process.

He ran out and into his small room, putting his black under shirt back on before getting into bed. He cuddled himself, wary to not widen the cuts or touch them. His breathing had increased dramatically as he rocked himself. The only way he coped with his panic attacks was the song his dad always sang to him. He calmed his breathing before doing a check on his vocals, he was good. He got comfortable on his bed and sang.

She asked me, “Son, when I grow old  
Will you buy me a house of gold?  
And when your father turns to stone  
Will you take care of me?

She asked me, “Son, when I grow old  
Will you buy me a house of gold?  
And when your father turns to stone  
Will you take care of me?

I will make queen of everything you see  
I’ll put you on the map  
I’ll cure you of disease

Let’s say we up and left this town  
And turned our future upside down  
We’ll make pretend that you and me  
Lived ever after happily

She asked me, “Son, when I grow old  
Will you buy me a house of gold?  
And when your father turns to stone  
Will you take care of me?

I will make queen of everything you see  
I’ll put you on the map  
I’ll cure you of disease

Oh, and since we know that dreams are dead  
And life turns plans up on their head  
I will plan to be a bum  
So I just might become someone

She asked me, “Son, when I grow old  
Will you buy me a house of gold?  
And when your father turns to stone  
Will you take care of me?

And with he cried himself to sleep, hoping to be free of his pain.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betrayal was the one thing he didn’t want.

He woke up to his mother scream, a few months earlier she had stopped knocking on his door for him to wake up. He lurched up in fear, he had not been able to get used to it. He hit his forehead on the shelf his mother had installed for him to hurt himself. He rubbed it softly, ducking under the self, to get on his usual formal clothes he now had to wear. He grabbed his white long sleeve, cuffed under shirt, putting it on. He took out his black pants that somewhat outlined his lower body. He took his black vest with a long tail that cut in the middle a little ways up from the bottom in the back. He put his arms through, tightening it to his chest. He buttoned up the vest. After that he tucked in his white shirt and brushed his clothing of dust. He took black socks and slipped them on as well as his formal shoes, that are black as well. He took the brush and hair gel he had to use. He slicked back his hair, which had gotten whiter over the past year. He grabbed his tie and looked at the mirror. Once he did the tie right he tucked it beneath his vest. He brushed his chest a few times before walking out and towards his sister’s room. He knocked exactly three times. A few days after his punishment from his mother, he was assigned as his sister’s servant. Soon after he started serving Lily he found out that his mother had gotten a house elf, to fit her needs. Soon he only had to do what Lily wanted and he was slightly relieved.

“Master Lily,” He started. He hated calling her master but he’d be punished by his mother. “Anything you need me to do?” He asked in a soft tone. He had also been ordered by Lily to be a lot more formal, like a real servant.

“Yes, come in will you.” She said, as he entered quickly, shutting the door after. Lily had warmed up to him after a little while and now she wasn’t as harsh. “I need you to help me get stuff for Hogwarts.” She sighed, putting her hands on her hips, looking down at me. Hogwarts? He thought, before asking.

“So what do you need?” She handed him the list. He looked over it a few times before being brought back to focus.

“I’ll need to get my robes and wand,” She informed him, handing me a bag which usually held 50 galleons. “You’ll get the rest right?” Her question caught him off guard. 

He quickly recovered and replied. “Yes I will Master Lily.” I bowed before asking. “Anything else you need?”

“Actually yes, I need help picking out my outfit.” She smirked looking at her huge walk in closet. She went inside pulling out a few shirts, skirts, dresses, pants and shoes, along with some hair accessories. 

“How about this shirt,” He pointed to a long sleeve baby blue shirt. “Brings out your eyes.” He added quietly.

She nodded at his compliment. “What else?” She had already picked out thigh length black hosiery. She had began putting away the dresses, seeing as they weren’t needed.

Since she had thigh length hosiery, he went with a skirt. He lifted up the navy blue short skirt and put it with the shirt. “And this skirt,” He declared and she laughed quietly. He loved it when she laughed, it made him proud that he made his sister laugh like a big brother would. He smiled before grabbing her black headband that had bright yellow stars on the left side. “With this as well.” She started to put away the pants.

“Any earrings?” She questioned, looking her brother in the eye. 

He got a little embarrassed as he picking up the matching yellow star earrings. “It matches the headband.” He said quietly, putting both headband and earrings with the clothes. “Anything else?” He asked shyly, still flustered.

“How about shoes?” She giggled as his blush got a deeper pink.

“How ‘bout these?” He showed her some formal shoes, like his own.

“Perfect!” He was relieved to hear she liked it. “I’ll go try it on.” She added taking the outfit into the bathroom. If he wasn’t here to help her get dressed she would be spending three hours just picking out her outfit let alone she spends an hour on her hair. He had told her she should cut her hair to shoulder length but she was wary about the idea. She came out and twirled in front of her body length mirror. “It’s beautiful, you really know how to put an outfit together.” She complimented him, before saying she had to get down to breakfast. “Clean my room.” She added, before leaving.

He sighed happily as he cleaned up the remaining clothes, made her bed, dusted the place and picked up any trash he found. He went downstairs and threw away the trash before heading to the kitchen. “Draco, you do not need to make breakfast today,” She growled somewhat. “Flyer’s already done that.” She pinched the elves cheek, who frowned in response. He held in his chuckle.

“Why don’t you come and sit down with us.” Lily had informed him, patting the spot next to her. He sat down carefully watching as the two ate in silence. He sat as still as he could before Lily spoke up. “We’ll be off to Diagon Alley to pick up the stuff I need.” She informed mother, before grabbing dust and went off to the alley.

He caught his mother’s glare before he floo’d to Diagon. He took out the list Lily gave him and headed off towards the first shop. He hand his hands full of stuff for Lily, including the barn owl she told him to get. He walked out of the store and went carefully down the stairs. As he reached the last step he leaned forward too much and fell, crashing into someone in the process.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” He stood up quickly, giving a hand out to the person he crashed into. “Please excuse my lack of balance.” He pleaded somewhat. Draco, your servant is coming out, he told himself. The boy took his hand, pulling himself up.

“It’s alright man.” He touched the back or his head and flinched.

“Oh my, are you hurt?” Draco asked, praying he didn’t injure the guy. The boy slowly nodded his head. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” Draco panicked, reaching out towards him.

“It’s fine, it’s nothing.” He blinked a couple of times before looking at the mess below him. Draco had knelt down starting to pick up the mess. “Here let me help you.” He smiled picking up the items one by one. Draco stared in awe before continuing.

He got all his things back together and thanked the man. “Thank you.” He sighed, before walking away to the meeting spot he and Lily planned, the wand shop.

“No problem!” The boy smiled at him, walking over to a bookstore. 

He walked slowly towards the wand shop, finding Lily standing beside the steps looking around. He finally reached her and she took the owl and a few bags.

“Time to get back.” She grinned, and we both went back to the manor.

They packed the stuff into two suitcases and named the owl. When they finished up they went downstairs. Draco went to the kitchen, cooking dinner quietly as he heard muttering in the living room. He brought dinner out and the voices stopped talking abruptly. After dinner was done Flyer took the dishes and cleaned them senseless. Lily looked mother dead in the eye before she sighed and looked over to Draco with a glare. 

“You are going to Hogwarts as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if these are very short chapters,  
> I'm not the best at making chapters longer without it getting boring  
> Though if you are enjoying the story, it makes me happy  
> Thanks so much for reading this! <3


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